How to Address a Formal Email

Worst Mail:

Hey, John Doe I just wanted to email you and tell you about an interesting opportunity.

(Don’t tell me what you are going to tell me, just tell me. Don’t say “hey” this isn’t Instant Messenger)

It’s great to meet you, my name is John Smith from Abc Inc.

(Have we met?)

I spent a lot of time following your work and I really think that we can do some great business together.

 (You’re wasting my time here I’m 5 seconds into this email and now I’m deleting it.)

Our company is from New York and we are funded by x,y,z.

(Why should I care?: what do you want with my time?)

We are working to do X.

(Finally.)

We do it better than Facebook because 1,2,3.

 (I’ll be the judge of that.)

I know a lot of people say X, but on the contrary, we believe Y.

 (How can you help me or what can I do for you?)

I’d love to set up a call with you.

 (Probably not happening.)

Sales Mail: Best Sample

John Doe,

I’d like to help you solve problem X. I do Y and Z suggested that we connect. 

What does your calendar look like on M/D/Y (Boom. Direct, concise, solving a problem and to the point.)

For emails that require a more in-depth response: schedule a call. Immediately set up a call. That being said, climb the communication ladder slowly.

Schedule a call

Let’s get on a short call to talk about [ INSERT WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT ]

What’s your availability for this week?

 

Following Up

Just to refresh your memory, I emailed you about

[ DESCRIBE IN A SENTENCE THE MAIN POINT OF THE PREVIOUS EMAIL ]

Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you!

Reschedule an Appointment

I’m very sorry – something has come up at the last minute. I’m going to need to reschedule our appointment. Let me know your availability. I will try to accommodate your schedule.

Ask a Question

Hey, I just wanted to ask you a quick question.

[INSERT QUESTION HERE]

I appreciate your insight on this.

Granting a Refund

Your refund has been granted. Hi, I just received your request for a refund.

I’m sorry we didn’t live up to your expectations.

Apology for a problem

We’re aware of your problem and working to fix it. We’ll make sure this gets fixed ASAP.

In the meantime, let me know if there’s anything I can do to make sure you have an awesome experience.

Decline an Offer Politely

I appreciate the thought and energy you put into offering me [ INSERT THING YOU ARE DECLINING ]

That being said, this isn’t a fit for me right now. Later, if it does become a fit, I’ll let you know.